One time, I was writing a customer story email based on a longer, thorough testimonial.
I wanted to turn the raw customer words into a flowing narrative that carried the reader from start to end and made them want to buy.
But as I was writing a line based on a part of the testimonial, it hit me:
What if instead of paraphrasing the customer, I copied + pasted their actual words?
And I don’t mean dumping the whole testimonial in at once.
No.
Instead, I wove parts into where they fit naturally.
For example, finishing a sentence with the customer’s words instead of describing it for them.
Or letting the customer’s own words about their problem open the email.
This worked better. They pulled in healthy sales figures with almost every send, and they’re more fun to write.
This type of text-based email is called a Storymonial. It’s a customer story based on a testimonial that uses bits of that testimonial throughout.
The story pulls the customer in and keeps them hooked since we’re wired for story. The customer language makes it more believable than the story alone.
It’s kinda like how news stories work. The journalist tells the story, but weaves in quotes where they hit hardest.
Same principle, but applied to email.
Now, this is the 2nd email in my 21 Email Swipe Vault…
But today, I want to give you that email for free.
So below are the exact framework, template, and example from the Vault. Plus, how to find the best testimonials for these and how to gather more.
| Table of Contents |
| The Framework The Template A Quick Example How to Find Good Storymonial Material Tell Their Story In Their Own Words What To Do Next |
The Framework
First, let’s start with the subject line and preview text matters…
Subject Line Examples:
- How [Customer Name] turned [pain point] into [result]
- This shocked me: what [Customer] said after trying [Product]
Preview Text Examples:
- Real story from someone who struggled with [problem]—until they tried this
- He nearly gave up… then this changed everything
These are more of “frameworks,” again, to spark your creativity.
Now, for the email components themselves…
Core Components:
- Introduce the customer and their problem: Set the scene by naming the person and what they were struggling with before they found the product.
- Relatable situation or emotional hook: Ground the reader in a moment or feeling they recognize from their own life so they immediately see themselves in the story.
- Detail their struggle: Go deeper on the pain — how long they dealt with it, what they tried, why it wasn’t working — to build empathy and stakes before the solution arrives.
- Highlight their encounter with the product: Show how and why they came across the product, keeping it natural rather than forced.
- (Optional) Show their skepticism, why they were hesitant: If the customer was hesitant before trying it, including that doubt makes the eventual result more believable and relatable to readers who feel the same way.
- Show their decision to try the product: This is the turning point… what made them finally commit and give it a shot.
- Describe the outcome / transformation: Bring the story home with what changed for them after using the product, using their real words where possible.
- CTA to get the same results: Close by pointing the reader toward the product with the implicit promise that they could experience a similar transformation if done right.
The Template
[Customer Name] struggled with [pain point] for [duration].
They tried [other solutions] but still dealt with [problem worsening].
Then they found [Product/Resource] — and everything changed.
At first, [skeptical reaction if relevant]…
But after trying it, [Customer Name] experienced [positive result].
Now, [new outcome/transformation].
If you’re tired of [same pain point], [Product/Resource] can help you too:
[CTA Button or Link]
A Quick Example
Here’s the example straight from the vault:
Subject line: Back pain ALMOST ended her golf career…
Preview: Until she discovered this
Hey {{ subscriber.first_name | strip | default: “there” }},
[CUSTOMER] had been golfing for 25 years.
She practiced daily most of that time, but her scores never reflected her effort…
And in the last few years, her back pain got worse with every round.
The only thing keeping [CUSTOMER] in the game was the social connections golf offered.
Eventually, she couldn’t take the pain and frustration any longer:
“Considering the constant backache and poor performance on the course, it was with a heavy heart I decided to make 2023 my final year and hang up my clubs for good,” she said.
One day, much later, my video “[VIDEO NAME]” popped up in her YouTube feed.
It never occurred to her that instead of being “bad” at the game… she’d been taught the wrong way (as the video shows).
Nothing else had worked, so she felt she had nothing to lose on a free YouTube video.
She dragged those clubs one last time to the driving range and…
THWACK. THWACK. THWACK.
Every single shot was crisp and clean! A glimmer of hope…
But then, the ultimate test — a round of golf. Here’s what happened:
“The next game, I shot a personal best at my home course! Not only that, it was without any backache. My mobility has improved, and I’m hitting longer, higher, and straighter shots than ever before.”
ONE video fixed a quarter century of frustration and beating up her body.
That’s because I designed my swing system to take stress and strain off your body for pain-free golf at any age…
But I know that aches and pains are one of the biggest obstacles for many golfers like [CUSTOMER].
So I also shot a 4-part video series for [SCHOOL] members focusing on 3 key fixes that eliminate pain in your swing.
It’s only 12 minutes long, but I know that with these fixes, your golf swing will finally feel good:
Join today and you’ll get instant access:
⇒ Start your journey to pain-free golf today in the [SCHOOL] school
Once you’re in the school, search “[SERIES NAME]” in the search bar and click “Lessons” to find the series.
If back pain or poor performance has ever made you consider giving up golf, this is your chance to turn things around.
[SIGNATURE]
How to Find Good Storymonial Material
Not all testimonials make good Storymonial material. Things like “Great product!” Or “I feel great, I’ll buy this again” don’t give you anything to work with.
Generally speaking, look for testimonials that are:
- Longer: More details to weave in
- More emotionally intense: Gives you a hook and theme to use
- Show a clear transformation: Allows you to show the customer’s “story arc”
The testimonial itself often has story elements hidden within, such as skepticism, how they found the brand, or the results.
Pro tip: Implement a Review Gathering Flow for your customers (and perhaps ask for reviews in your Post-Purchase Flow) and ask the right questions.
This’ll help you gather Storymonial-worthy material on autopilot so that you’ll never run out of ideas.
Tell Their Story In Their Own Words
I use Storymonials constantly. For one brand, I did them most days for a few weeks straight because they just kept making money… and they’re fun to write.
You can use them in flows, too. For example, dropping a Storymonial in your Welcome Sequence that shows the benefits of your hero product.
Once you know the framework, writing them is easier. You can even start to bend the structure and experiment to create your own unique Storymonials.
AI helps too. Feed it the testimonial and the framework, along with all other relevant documentation, and then coach it into writing an “80% done” Storymonial.
And yes, again, the Framework and A Quick Example sections are word-for-word what you’ll find in the 21-Email Swipe Vault (although I added a few extra explanatory sentences in this piece for context). So you get it for free.
But Storymonials are but one email type in my toolkit.
20 more await you inside the Swipe Vault:
⇒ Get all 21 emails in one place with the Swipe Vault
What To Do Next
- Share this article with someone who might find it helpful (or entertaining).
- Subscribe to my Substack to get these in your inbox every Friday.
- Learn 10 key email automations that unlock 10-15% more store revenue without extra ad spend.
- Grab my 21 best email templates/frameworks.
- Reach out to me at info(at)bradleyschnitzer.com if you have a sizable email list and make less than 20% of your revenue through email.