We can generally group types of copy assets into two categories:
- Short-form
- Long-form
Long-form is stuff like sales letters, video sales letters, eBook lead magnets, whitepapers, and so on.
Short-form copy consists of ads, emails, social media posts, and web copy.
Hard to put a word count on either one, so it eludes concrete definition. I usually employ Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart’s defense — “I know it when I see it.”
(That’s how he answered when, in 1964, he was asked to describe what counted as “obscenity”.)
Case in point: This email I recently received from Paleovalley, a company in the nutrition/supplements space.
It’s one of the longer emails I’ve seen — clocking in at a hair under 700 words. Doesn’t quite take the “long-a55 email” crown from BioTrust, but boy does it come close.
Longer emails can work better if the angle is relevant to the customer and the copy is solid.
Keep reading to see how…
About Paleovalley
Paleovalley is an online health food/supplement company. Its mission is to “help people reclaim vibrant health,” according to the About page.
This company was founded by Autumn and Chas Smith. They have an excellent company origin story — per the About page, Autumn had suffered acute digestive issues since her teens. Chas decided to research potential solutions and stumbled upon the Paleo diet.
The Paleo diet aims to mimic what our theoretical caveman ancestors may have eaten:
- Lean meats
- Seasonal fruits/veggies
- Fish
- Eggs
- Nuts and seeds
- Berries
After 30 days of Paleo, Autumn had almost completely eliminated the digestive symptoms she dealt with.
The next logical step, of course, was to start a Paleo-focused business to help others.
After all: What better way to make money than by helping others fix the same type of terrible, burning, aching problem you once faced?
(That describes a side business I’m working on, by the way. More on that if you’re on my email list.)
The couple brought in family and friends, launching Paleovalley and creating Paleo-focused products like snacks, drinks, and supplements.
Autumn, Chas, or whoever writes the emails *gets* direct response email marketing, too. Keep reading to see what I mean…
The Email: A Long Email… With the Perfect Blend of Pain + Education + Selling
So, yeah, here’s the email in its entirety:
It’s a “long boy” as the Zoomers say.
Yet as you’ll see, this email needs to be this long. Gives Paleovalley the room to empathize with the customer, educate them on the topic, “twist the knife”… and create enough anticipation to close tons of sales at the pitch.
Let’s tear down this behemoth, brick-by-brick, and see what nuggets of copywriting gold we uncover…
The Subject Line
Many get on Paleo because they have tried plenty of diets and other methods to lose fat… yet nothing seemed to work.
So despite the saturation of “banish belly fat” claims since something like the 1960s, this subject line still works:
Consider the relationship Paleovalley has with their list, too. This subject line may not work all that well with a bunch of cold leads…
Or even slightly warm blog readers.
But these are more loyal email subscribers. Paleovalley earned their trust in some way.
Plus, the customer expects educational emails at this point… even if they know it ends with a pitch. That’s just based on where email marketing sits in Paleovalley’s marketing world and that the reader likely received previous long-form educational emails.
The Body Copy
Key rules of copywriting — meet the customer where they are and “pay off” the subject line.
Paleovalley does both in the first two lines:
Chances are, the reader is carrying some extra weight… and not just anywhere, but smack dab in their midsection.
Paleovalley wrenches on this pain just a little bit with descriptive language in line two. This line further establishes a connection by referencing colloquialisms for being a little overweight.
Oh, and it adds a conversational element.
Right after getting the customer thinking about their pain, Paleovalley offers some “relief’:
Ok, I believe your weight and body composition are your fault. So I would bristle at this…
And that’s the point. It’s adding a bit of “polarization” right away. Like it or not, people remember you if you’re polarizing.
Regardless, “not your fault” is powerful because it validates the customer’s struggles. They want to hear someone who empathizes with them.
Then, Paleovalley does a little bit more “polarization” by “debunking” a common “myth” around the ease of losing weight…
And takes it further by saying the things you do to lose weight could actually have the reverse effect.
Polarization and myth-busting. Now the reader’s hooked.
Of course, you and I may both still be skeptical that it’s “not your fault.” Explain yourself, Paleovalley!
And that’s what they do next:
Paleovalley introduces its reason for its earlier claim: The types of fat your body holds.
Paleovalley dimensionalizes each type of fat here. Defining them is decent… but helping the reader visualize the fat on their arm gives them a better picture and gets them more involved. Many readers will physically pinch and look at their underarm. Now you’re getting them to “interact” with the email. I’m no psychologist, but that seems like some psychological tactic.
Similarly, Paleovalley does a great job describing visceral fat. It’s sneaky, unseen, and the real reason you carry weight on your midsection.
Then, things get a lot more ominous:
Now, the reader’s anxiety around the issue is worse. They look bad and could be more susceptible to some of the worst health conditions.
Now, they really want to learn how to stop this. So Paleovalley introduces the key variable underlying their weight loss struggles:
Cortisol.
I like how they bolded the chunk of sentence that has cortisol. Makes sense, given how critical of a hormone it is.
Paleovalley follows up by enlightening the reader on what cortisol is and does for us:
Paleovalley ties cortisol back to the initial “not your fault claim” — the realities of the modern world make it hard not to have excessive cortisol levels.
Paleovalley then twists the knife further with some negative consequences of high cortisol across several health-related domains:
Now the reader understands, from a scientific view, why chronically high cortisol is so devastating for both looks and health. Quite a barrage of, in their words, “nasty side effects.”
Lots of good formatting here. Bullet points enhance readability, and all the critical stuff is bolded. Each negative consequence of high cortisol also gets some “benefit” (or, rather, anti-benefit) and dimensionalization copy to dig further into the pain.
One last twist of the knife…
Paleovalley also closes the “exercise and diet are making this worse” loop opened earlier.
So now, the reader grasps the full extent of the problem… and has seen the science and logic to back it up.
They’re in the darkest depths, fearful of what could happen if they don’t make a change NOW.
So it’s time to guide them back to the light:
Finally, a solution. A massive relief for the reader.
Paleovalley once again throws in a study to back up their assertion, once again.
And I like how the word “vitamin C” and the way it stops cortisol are bolded. The study is there just to add credibility… What really matters is them knowing why Vitamin C works.
Buy on emotion, justify on logic.
But how can the reader get enough vitamin C?
Paleovalley knows the reader is now in this headspace, so that’s the next piece of the email:
Now, Paleovalley explains that most of our nutrients should come from food. Great display of transparency — they care about the customer’s health, not just shilling their own products.
Of course, the customer then asks, “so why can’t I just eat oranges? Don’t they have vitamin C?”
Again, Paleovalley knows their customer. So they address that objection the moment it bubbles to the surface.
Which creates a new problem… How do you get enough vitamin C to help keep cortisol in check without tearing through metric tons of citrus fruit and suffering constant canker sores?
And so Paleovalley has teed up their sales pitch perfectly:
The first CTA is an implicit one. Autumn is simply explaining how she solved this problem by making this supplement.
Plus, she explains what is in it and how much you need to take. Helps the customer see how much more reasonable this supplement is vs. eating 20 oranges.
One final bit of “time to take action” copy to truly seal the deal:
Autumn ties the whole email together quite nicely by harkening back to the “not your fault” concept introduced earlier.
This helps the pain resurface one last time, followed by the promise of relief with some benefit-driven copy and a CTA. Powerful stuff.
I like how she just tosses out a discount code, too. I’m not sure if regular site visitors get the discount. Thus, Autumn subtly injects exclusivity — the reader realizes they got this discount by being on the email list.
Also, the signature complex there is great. Whether or not you’re writing your brand’s emails, slap your mug alongside your company name and “Founder” or “Marketing Director” or whoever it is. Humanizes the brand.
Yes, of course, we have some PS’s to cover:
First PS is great for catching skimmers. People might skip most of the email, catching only a few details. Thus, the PS contains the main takeaways in bite-sized format to score some skimmer sales.
Also helps people who may not retain what they read as well. They get a quick summary in the PS, reinforcing the buying decision.
The PPS is necessary here to prevent too big a block of text. Separating the discount code enhances readability by adding a line break.
I want to cover one last section:
I appreciated how Paleovalley added some sources here. Some customers might believe the email’s claims without them, but why not add them in just in case?
Sure, most readers won’t actually read those studies. But the fact that they’re there makes them think “ok, this is real science, I trust Paleovalley.” Once again, an example of buying on emotion and justifying with logic.
(And the ones that do read them will also feel more comfortable ordering afterward since Paleovalley knows what it’s talking about and is serious about science.)
Plus, all the shipping and guarantee blocks. Never hurts to stick these at the bottom so customers have the info they need to order worry-free.
Takeaways
Here are some big takeaways:
1. The Copy Mechanics
The email is very direct-responsy. It all flows quite naturally and conversationally. Line breaks, varied sentence structure, and bullets all help break up this massive email so it’s easy on the reader’s eyes.
The whole thing feels like Autumn is talking to you as a friend… a smart, scientifically astute friend who manages to empathize with you and explain what’s causing your problem.
I like the use of bold on the most important point. Bold always makes things more readable, but it also draws eyes to particular persuasive or vital elements of the copy.
Using multiple CTAs is also a good idea. Implicit, explicit, and a third one in the PS. More CTAs — assuming they fit naturally — creates opportunities for customers at various stages of awareness buying opportunities.
2. The Email Structure
We humans buy on emotion, then justify with logic (or science). That’s how these “sellucation” emails should be structured — and it explains this email’s structure quite well.
At the start, there’s just enough copy to bring that pain to the front of the mind, getting the emotions going. Plus, a bit more to explain how it’s not their fault… another emotional appeal.
Now they’re hooked… but need to feel good about the whole “not your fault” thing. They don’t want to feel like they’re just making excuses.
Then, it’s logic/reason/science time. The email explains why their emotions are ok and backs that up with lots of science. Yet it maintains an urgent tone throughout to keep the reader tearing through every line.
Strong emotion + enough logic to back it up = sale.
Adding the PS and PPS is another excellent email structure technique when done right. If you can summarize the entire email in 1-2 short sentences and cram in a CTA, you can catch a bunch of skimmers and others who want to read EVERYTHING before clicking.
One last note here: The email seems to anticipate the reader’s next thought every step of the way. It’s structured almost as a conversation, but with the reader’s responses not published in it.
That, my friend, is what a great piece of sales copy should be. A conversation from one writer to many readers… with each reader feeling like the convo’s 1-on-1.
3. The Overall Strategy
I believe this is a broadcast email that is either on its own or part of a larger promo of this particular product.
However, Paleovalley could easily tuck this into a welcome sequence since it attacks a MAJOR pain point and infuses elements of a “product creation story” toward the end. Really seals the deal for customers who want to lose fat (which is a lot of people who seek out companies like Paleovalley).
After all, the customer doesn’t just want… but feels like they need the product by the end of reading the email.
What to Do Next
- Get on my email list using the signup form below.
- Reach out to me if you want help writing emails like this one.
- Share this post with someone who would find it helpful or insightful.
- Check out Paleovalley for healthy, delicious, Paleo-friendly snacks and drinks… and supplements if you want them!