Gene Schwartz once said, “Your headline has only one job — to stop your prospect and compel him to read the second sentence…“
And yet, plenty of businesses write headlines that fail this primary objective. You can probably guess why from my headline, but read below for the full explanation.
Clarity > Cleverness (and Vague Benefit Promises)…
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a headline (both as a copywriter studying clients/competitors and as a consumer) and come away with zero clue as to what the company actually sells.
Granted, maybe I’m not in their market. But on many of these, there wasn’t a lot of industry jargon, either.
Sometimes, the headline is really vague, with generic promises of broad benefits. Or an excessive use of jargon and complex words makes it too hard for me to read. Remember: you want to be as clear as possible. Less complexity is usually better, although that doesn’t mean you treat your customers like they’re stupid.
But then, there are the overly “clever” headlines that fail to connect to the reader.
Now, I consider myself witty. I think I understand humor pretty well. And sometimes, these clever headlines get me to rapidly push air out of my nose in a minor expression of laughter.
But they aren’t getting met to buy. And if I’m not buying (assuming I’m your target customer), what’s the point?
I know — it’s hard to let your babies go. It’s tough to delete that amazingly witty headline. But sales writing of any kind isn’t supposed to be clever for the sake of being clever.
Instead, make sure you clearly enumerate a benefit, touch on a major market pain point, or even call your reader to action.
Let me give you a weird example off the top of my head:
Say you offer tree removal services. A “clever” headline for your website might be “Live tree or die hard.” Hahaha. Funny. Like living free of trees, but replacing free with tree. (Sorry for explaining the joke.)
But that headline doesn’t really mean anything. You could ditch that headline for something as simple as “Remove dead trees from your yard in one day.” That is much clearer, albeit less witty.
Here’s another example: maybe you run a wine delivery subscription service. Sure, your headline could be “It’s ok to wine”, but it might be better to go with “Your favorite wines deliver to your door monthly.” A bit more boring, but a bit clearer.
But Level Up Your Cleverness Later
Now, this isn’t to say you should cast out a unique, punny, witty headline just because it’s unique, punny, or witty. Copywriters will say that cleverness doesn’t matter at all…
But the thing is, these kinds of headlines can have a better ring to them without sacrificing persuasion when cleverness is done right.
It’s just that a lot of companies prioritize a creative headline that ultimately obfuscates how their offer helps the reader.
This is why good headlines take so long to get right, despite being just a few words. Copywriters write, shake their heads, rewrite, shake their heads again, delete, and pound their fists on the desk dozens of times before they finally nail that headline. They’re trying to convey that main benefit or pain point first. THEN, they’re looking for ways to make it sound like a jingle.
Clarity First, Cleverness Second… Ideally Both
Creativity feels good. Being clever feels good. Put it together… and coming up with a clever headline feels great.
But then it doesn’t feel so great when that headline isn’t drawing in the reader and driving sales.
Unfortunately, too many companies focus on being clever, just for reader interest and sales to take a dip.
Instead, make sure you nail the clarity first. Make it clear what you offer, what pain points you solve, and/or what you want the reader to do. Then, you can test new variations with clever spins.
If you want help writing clever and compelling headlines, reach out to me today.